| (no subject) |
[Jan. 10th, 2005|07:54 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  irritated | ] |
HEY so alissa wanted me to update ...but i dont have anyhting to rant about...well maybe i do...but i dont care enough to bitch about it. i miss alissa and we need to hang out more...shes one of the FEW...FUCKING FEW true friends i have.
so ryan is mad at me. i love him, i do. but hes so different now. everyone notices...its not even about the relationship anymore...im happy that hes happy, and her as well...but theyre both so different...and it hurts.
god forbid anyone else would matter.
well let me tell u what else...i miss my cullen i love that fucker more than life.
i think im bored with everything...im irritated. but i dont know..content. whatever. im over it |
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| AW |
[Jan. 3rd, 2005|03:43 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  stressed | ] |
| [ | music |
| | gavin degraw-belief | ] |
k so somebody shoot me...any takers?
Agh im so glad im done letting shit get to me...bc otherwise id be GOING FUCKING BONKERS.
so i didnt write all break...not sure why...i dont really have any words...so...PICTURES!
Hi Leah...<3
<3Anus and Bitchmaggot Reunited<3
Me and Cullen<3 my best forkin friend ever
ok now im done. theres more but i dont care enough to post them. |
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| CHRISTMAS EVE |
[Dec. 24th, 2004|11:54 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  sleepy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Gavin DeGraw-meaning | ] |
WHO GIVES A FUCK? YEA, not me.
good now that we have that across....family!
girls of the family
tammy keena me and teressa
my dork ass cousin tammy
''Have You Seen Her?" lol
dork ass...again...
My baby girls...Gia Nicole and Olivia aka demon spawn
I told them to be silly, and thhhats what they gave me<3 GOD THEYRE SO CUTE I CANT STAND IT.
Me n Raquel<3 |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 23rd, 2004|12:33 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  confused | ] |
im not really sure how i feel right now, but who cares..its the first day of winter vaca god damn it...and ill b 17 soon...woo.hoo....i need ideas on what to do...danielle, help me...
ps we need to talk.
LOVE love LOVE |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 23rd, 2004|11:30 am] |
I stand here face to face
With someone that I used to know
He used to look at me and laugh
But now he claims
That he's known me for so very long |
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| me and kiki convo |
[Dec. 23rd, 2004|01:11 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  drunk | ] |
i understand...yes, i do...
me=backbone of a lot of friendships i have...
please keep it real
its so much easier...being fake will bite you in the ass.
KEEP YOUR SHIT REAL.
everything will work out if done so. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 22nd, 2004|11:42 pm] |
Cullens ex girlfriends make me wana kill myself....
Love Love love |
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| HAH....I LOVE YOU |
[Dec. 22nd, 2004|11:31 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | drunk | ] |
HOLY FUCK...SO IT TOOK ME LIKE 10 MINUTES TO LOG IN BECAUSE IM TOO DRUNK TO ACTUALLY TYPE MY USERNAME AND PASSSWORD CORRECTLY. ALRIGHT now anyways ....im really quite irritated w/ a lot of people but i dont really care right now...i mean come on these are the best days of our lives...and its almost fucking christmas...so if u wanna treat me like shit its cool...but i fucking dare u to find a better friend than me...try...i promise ull fail...
ok so i bet the wrong ppl are reading this like ''shes psycho, this is about me'' but its not...whatev...i dont even care anymore...im so sick of being upset about nothing
so cullen is coming home, i love him more than life and i cant wait to see him and give him his christmas shit...hes gonna love his i hope...i love that boy...talk about the only bastard thats never fucked me over...love you BABE.
ok nothing else to rant about...im a FUCKING spaz...yea thats me.
LATER
LOTS OF <3 |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 21st, 2004|05:18 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | drained | ] |
i think its SO time for school to be over...its not even funny anymore how much it makes me want to SHOOT MYSELF. I have probably the worst headache, EVER. but its cool. ok im done now. |
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| Smoke Toke |
[Dec. 20th, 2004|06:24 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  okay | ] |
Ha Ha so im gonna post pictures now...theyre really random but thats ok...
today was good i went to the mall got the rest of cullens gift. HES DONE. thank god...andy is done, ryan IS NOT. they didnt have his god damn dog...haha i need to go back to that hell hole...immediately.
i think alissa is still mad at me..i keep making efforts to talk 2 her, and tell ppl to tell her to call me, but shes callin everyone but me. hm.
that should SO be on like, a post card. haha.
ouch! Karlas new piercing! meouch!!! it looked like it hurt..i was there. i think i might have passed out.
Aww my cousin Gia... we were baking cookieS!<3
Me and Heidi-kins...this picture is my favortie....we both look so happy. thats like, pure laughter. gotta love it.
Im such a retard...alissa took that..im not sure what i was doing, its kindof scary...
my girls
im kindof im a good mood but im not sure... im still irritated...me and alissa need to be speaking... i hope shes ok...why isnt she calling me...oy... |
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| Our First President was elected in 1990! |
[Dec. 20th, 2004|09:24 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  happy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | I dont Wanna Be- Gavin DeGraw | ] |
kay well...we had a 2 hour delay, so i just decided not to go...nice isnt it?hahaha...my mom told me it was too cold anyways...i think marilyn is currently at the bus stop..shes gonna be PISSED.
so now ryan and em are...speaking? i hope they get happier...or something.
KEEP UR MOUTH SHUT, THANKS.
kevins actions are absoloutly unheard of....he was literally like making fun of me while i was on the phone with ryan...grow up?we used to be so close...like complete best friends...and everyone EVERYONE told me how much of an asshole he was..yeah i knew but i stood up for him bc i cared...thats ok..i cared at first and then i look at what he has, and what i have. he has nothing.its almost sad, then i realize that he deserves it and it doesnt really matter.. his reason for hating me is me being annoying?...i listened to him BITCH CRY AND YELL about whoever for how long, after i was right, every time...thats what friendship is, moron.....and he said i bitched about andy...ahaa bad reason find a better one. im sure hes laughing if hes reading this...but thats just bcause hes too afraid to admit it.im sorry u dont kno who u are mr identity crisis. im being really harsh and im sorry...
i dont regret our friendship though, bc i learned a lot. im not gonna sit here and talk shit on the kid...but u figure that since hes in college hed be at least mature about the situation...haha yeah right that would be too easy...for everyone...hhhm well i dunno its sad i guess but only on his part...he will never find a friend better than me and he knows that.he just thinks hes badass and he doesnt need anyone because hes in college. his loss
Lesson Learned: be careful who u trust bc no matter what youve been through they will probably fuck you over..or maybe thats only kevin.lol
well i wish the best for him and his family...they were good people...maybe they can save him...LONG SHOT.
ok i wanted to rant about.. iknow i shouldnt have bc ill probably hear about it later..but thats the beauty of lj... I DONT GIVE A FUCK IF U READ IT...IF UR OFFENDED DONT FUCKING READ IT.
now im done.
god i feel so much better....
k now time for the bored/gay shit: (bc im in a better mood now)
What comes to mind when you hear
snow?: COLD
rain?: YUCK
summer love?: john travolta
Jon?: angelo
banana?: yellow
dizzy?: spinning
Juan?: smokey joes
car?: JETTA
peppermint?: gum
placebo?: pills
orange juice?: acid
sister?: TERESSA I LOVE YOU
brother?: yuck
hate?: school
school?: HATE
football?: STILLLLLERRRRRRSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
rap?: loud music
rock?: LOUDER MUSIC<3
death?: yuck
baby?: awww
duuude?: cullen <3<333<33<333333 |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 19th, 2004|02:40 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | stressed | ] |
| [ | music |
| | guster | ] |
haha so im baking with my family, and its cool...im having fun and leah is coming over...but a lot of things are really shitty right now..and its so hard for me to DEAL. AGH. I CANT SOLVE EVERYONES PROBLEMS.
logan<3...
me and cullen are fine...definately trust him more than anyone.i love him so much
im triyng so hard to help ryan n em but i cant do anythig...im broken myself and i cant handle it... i try to help... i try i try i try....
me and andy i have absoloutly no idea...ryan decided to open his mouth and tell him i felt sad about him..or something...i wasnt mad... or sad...ive learned that andy is what he is..he cares..even when he doesnt act like it...when i try to talk to him, he tells me i flip out...lol so i decided to keep my mouth shut, and RYAN tells him im like upset. its not that im upset..he just used to be a lot nicer to me...hes not rude to me now...theres just no effort being put into it...and i still put in 100% even though i have No feelings for him. now it seems as if i dont matter. i know i matter, im just going through a lot right now, and i know he knows that and hes not good with showing emotion...but it wasnt hard for him a year ago, and its not hard with, ya know. no u dont know...but i know what im talking about. im just...blah... i dont think hes ever actually apolagized for soemthing thats happened w/ us.. its always my fault. oh well. i love the kid, and there really isnt a problem, i know he cares...and if someone hurt me, hed be upset, and wouldnt let it happen...im just a mess. we are close, i need to stop.
and em.... emily, emily, emily,.... no matter what we go thru were ALWAYS there for eachother..no questions asked...i guess thats what time,chocolate, and friendship does to you.
So me and alissa are like, i have no idea...she is upset about family, and shes being sad... and i am tryng to help her...we all are...i HATE seeing her like this, she means so much to me i wish she knew that...and she was like all over my sister yesterday...i didnt care my sister is awesome, she is...but like she was like with her and saying how she was like her new best friend...it seemed as though...i dunno.....and me and heidi went upstairs bc i wanted to show her soemthing...alissa said ''ill b right up'' we didnt walk away w/o her or anything..we did ask, and tell her where we were going....then she like went to sleep. i love her more than anything, but ever since like day 1 shes been weird about me and heidi being cool... not even weird but like...i dunno like she didnt want it to happen. i love alissa, shes one of the only people i have left. and she just kindof signed off on me...
I did call kaitlin and make up with her...happy about that<3...we just fade apart soemtimes bc we get busy...i love her we need to stop letting that happen.
Besdies being really upset about all of that, i guess im GOOD.
its almost christmas...woohoo...
dont i sound excited?
why all this drama? is it almost funny? yep....go ahead, laugh. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 17th, 2004|11:16 pm] |
so yea...definately fell on my ass tonight...no....on my face...and it didnt hurt really at all...it was just a definate definate fall...bad.
hahah i stil have to post pictures up from the night with heidi liss and kara
i love cullen
some guys get gay when they like girls...FUCK YOU ASSHOLE.
i love cullen
<3 i hate you. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 15th, 2004|11:04 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  high | ] |
hii tongiht i hung out with heidi kara and alissa and i had so much fun...i really truly was happy tonight with those girls...we were just silly...
girls...
i love them<3
i need to go to bed...
we went to coldstone, it was so good.
we laughed, hard...i dunno if its normal.
Love Love Love |
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| hm |
[Dec. 15th, 2004|03:46 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | chipper | ] |
| [ | music |
| | sublime-wrong way | ] |
i guess today was kindof a good day. im in a good mood, so who cares. ITS ALMOST.....
CHRISTMAS
im so sick of people being rude.GROW UP. esp my good friends..if u continue i will definately not take it. i dont need you, really dont flatter yourself....im an awesome friend to the people i love, and i say that with confidence. can you ?... hhmmmm
Kara i kno uve had some ppl u trusted dick you off....it happens to the best of us...ur a BEAUTIFUL friend and person, tell those tramps to watch out for me. im serious. <3 omg and u and alissa just called me...CREEPY.
why do people act so gay...were almost done with highschool, u think theyd be over it. yeah...right. i know their is drama but jesus christ nothing is that fucking serious.
Aww yesterday was andys birthday...
thats means him AND ryan are 18 now... adults .... by LAW....that fucking frightens me...love you boys
<33
i miss alissa
i miss danielle so much i need to see her<3 its beginning to sicken me.
I love my real friends<3 |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 12th, 2004|08:23 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | moody | ] |
yeah....so i guess its just one of those days.
I dont want to go back to school
im really confused.
im not sure about what.
i am still feeling the aftermath from friday night
i am sick and i cant get better.
this weekend sucked, i hope next weekend is better.
i think i need some ass.
yea, definately need some ass.
jesse is being kindof an ass.
what else is new?
i love cullen but he sucks lately.
me and kara are ranting about guys
im done. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 12th, 2004|02:21 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | irritated | ] |
so im so fucking irritated. some people are being so gay lately...the people i love the most...grr u kno who the fuck u are. i dunno i dont really care, it just sucks bc now that one little person is in the picture, it all changes and i dont matter. whaaaaatever. its almost christmas so fuck it im not gonna let shit bother me. i cant!... whats the point. dont i say this every time?
yes, yes I do. i need to get better so i can go out. i definately need to go out. to a party...get smashed...jesus christ.
steeler game tonight!!!! i wonder what im gonna do... invite some people over...aahhh i need a nap first.
grr hes being sortof lame,...or maybe im overeacting...i dont know, but whatever it is, its not good. im losing hope here.
but ryan and andy = <3 i was sick and drunk on friday and they took care of me.<3 |
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| OH. MY. GOD |
[Dec. 11th, 2004|02:58 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | Sexually frustrated | ] |
aaggghhh IM SUCH A FUCKING MORON. AGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Im never drinking again...andy completely owned me in beer pong/our made up game.
Ryans rib is hurt...:(
Beeca doesnt seem to be too happy lately and its PENIS' and they suck. i know exactly how she feels, its a phase that i actually just got out of ... it passes but while it goes on it feels like ull never feel an ounce of happiness ever again. it just sucks bc i cant help her...the only way i can is to be there for her when she wants to talk. i love her<3
So i feel like shit and i dont want to drink eevr again....until 7 oclock tonight. hah. so apparently i was pretty annoying last night...i dont think i annyoed them im just really loud.
Alissa is another one..god i love her but boys just seem to BE FUCKING EVERYONE THIS SEASON...DAMN IT. DAMN IT. nothings working out for her, or anyone anymore...we need to get school over it so we can relax.
god i feel really sick, i need a nap before i go out with karla. i definately need some rest or some...i dont know. i should eat.
im so pissed...well not pissed but, agh FRUSTRATED. AAAHHHH IM SUCH AN IDIOT. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 9th, 2004|02:36 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  pissed off | ] |
im really sick, and its pissing me off.... |
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